Saturday, February 6, 2010

Spartacus Blood and Sand

I've always loved the legend of Spartacus.  Like most folks I first encountered it in the form of the Kurt Douglas classic.  It was an epic - no it wasn't particularly accurate historically or visually was way too clean and very very Hollywood but I loved every second of it. The ending still chokes me up. I noticed that Stars was doing a whole series on Spartacus and I was just thrilled!! Ohhh it looked pretty and gritty and very high budget. My geeky little heart just went pitter pat! Well.........I noticed today that Netflicks has the first season on the watch instantly section so how could I resist?  I settled back on the couch with some doughnut holes and a glass of Pepsi Max that my friend Merlin brought over last night, all ready to be filled with sugar and gladitorial goodness. 
It's ...very pretty.... They blew a lot of their budget on body oil, blood and sand.....It really does live up to it's name. It's certainly Bloody and Sandy...and rather adult oriented. I was rather pleased to see Lucy Lovelace back on the screen as an unnatural (and I mean that in every possible sense of the phrase) redhead. Brother Jonathan from The Mummy movies plays her husband and I must say I've never ever had conversations like the one that establishes their relationship in the first episode - ever.... I will never watch Xena or the Mummy quite the same way again....Holy (um un holy) smokes.
The producers obviously really loved "300" and "Sin City" the visual style borrows very heavily from both with a sprinkling of "Gladiator" and a spatter  of "Braveheart". The language is Shakespeare meets Tarantino...come to think of it they borrow the blood splatter from "Kill Bill" and "Grind House"
The ahem...Adult situations are enough to make the cast of "True Blood" blush - even the undead ones.

I don't want to review it and give away bits in case you have a mind to watch it..but I have devised a drinking game based on it....

Go get a bottle of your favorite libation...

Every slow motion charge ...take a drink
Every F or C bomb....take a drink
Every slow motion fall .....take a drink
Every overdone blood splash, splatter, or spray.....take a drink.
Every sex scene ....take a drink (there are 4 in the first 30 minutes of the first episode...not counting the near rape).
Every penis reference ...take a drink
Every vagina reference....take a drink.
Every fight scene....take a drink.
Every potty reference...take a drink
Every anal reference....take a drink

You will now be so drunk that you won't be able to hit play on episode two...unless like me you were drinking Pepsi Max.

I can't say that I like Blood and Sand but it will be a great way to get my daily requirement of water in and I'm watching it now with the same sort of morbid lurid fascination some people show auto accidents on the highway.

If you like to heckle movies...get some friends..pop some popcorn and play the drinking game.


1 comment:

  1. oops...Lucy Lawless...given the scene I think I made a freudian typo.